| MY AFRICAN CONNECTION . . . Rachelle Strawther LATEST UPDATE AND PHOTOS |
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Dear Friends and Family,
It's so hard to believe that the year is 2011. I remember years ago when it seemed like the Millenium was so far away that by the
time it arrived, we would be flying cars like the Jetsons and establishing colonies on Mars. Well, there is still time. Let me now
think of 2030 as that great technological frontier, and wait to see if it lives up to my exaggerated imagination.
Kenya, like most of Africa, is divided by the older, slower, simpler world, and the high-speed, high-cost lifestyle flying by it. It's still
a very normal thing to find a brand-new, $50,000 Mercedes passing by two men pushing a wooden cart of supplies; a $200,000
house (and yes, these are U.S. dollar amounts) situated across the street from slums where the average tenant rents a 2-room
iron sheet house for $15 a month. Pretty soon, with Kisumu's new international airport, people will be able to fly to Egypt without
passing through Nairobi; yet, you still can't drive a mile in town without being jossled around by Kisumu's trademark potholes.
Many of the improvements going on in Kenya are exciting, high-tech, and "good for the economy"; but it seems as if life for
average Kenyans making $40 a month just gets harder and more expensive, while our Members of Parliament, making the
HIGHEST salaries in the world at about $15,000 a month, continue to vote for pay increases.
Okay, Rachelle, no more politics!!! I meant to write because it has been, regrettably and ashamedly, about 6 months since I last
sent a mass email. And there have been so many events, both personal and professional, that it it's impossible to continue
procrastinating this email.
First and foremost - and the hardest thing to write about - but one that I can't avoid...Zawa.
As some of you are aware through Facebook entries in October, Zawa's father, stepmother and grandparents finally made a
decision about giving her up for adoption. After getting the legal information during a meeting with a children's lawyer, the family
met on their own and discussed. And they refused, based on cultural grounds. The grandparents - the heads of Luo families -
insisted that Zawa must come back to her family. Adoption was not an option.
We were forced to return Zawa to her family in mid-December. While we were there, we had a meeting with the whole family to
hear from the grandparents why they were against adoption. Then we were able to respond. It seems that the grandparents were
totally against adoption when they were informed of how it cuts off their rights to the child, but when Seth and I explained that we
still intend to keep up the connection between Zawa and her relatives, they relaxed and finally left the decision up to the father.
We had previously agreed that Zawa would stay with the father and stepmother for some time so that the family could then decide
whether they were capable of taking care of her. There is a chance that the father may later return Zawa to us for adoption - given
her various health problems - but for now, the father has enrolled Zawa in school in the village.
We feel broken-hearted and are missing our little girl so much. Seth and I have called and asked to talk to Zawa several times, and
each time there was a reason why she could not talk. We are not sure if these are legitimate reasons, or if the family does not
want us to communicate with her. My worry is that Zawa will grow up thinking that we abandoned her or didn't want her. But one of
Zawa's traits is that she gets attached to people very fast. As long as she has food to eat and kids to play with, she tend to do well
in any situation. Luckily, she has quite a few biological siblings at home, two of whom she had already interacted with before this
time. Because we had prepared ourselves and Zawa for the shift to the father's home, she was not emotional when we left her
there, nor were we. We had talked about it in advance with Zawa, and told her, "Your real father" [and she does understand that
Seth is not her real father] "loves you so much that he wants to spend more time with you. We will get to see you again, but for
now you are going to your other home so you can spend time with your siblings Jill and Fred." Jill is about 9, Fred about 4.
I had already cried all my tears before we made the journey, and promised myself that I would not let them see me look weak, in
case the family ever thought of using it against us. But leaving her behind as we drove away was one of the hardest things I have
ever had to do. I would not wish it upon anyone.
If I had had to sit at home without anything to occupy my thoughts all this time, I would be an emotional wreck by now. No
question. But God has an interesting way to helping us to manage our pain in times like these. For me, he gave me a full-time job
and made me busier than I have been in probably 5 years.
So, in addition to coordinating the Kisumu Kiwanis activities, I started work in November as Manager of the Kisumu Youth
Football Association (KYFA). I wasn't sure early on if I really wanted to take the position that had been offered to me several times;
but now that I am in in, I feel like it is exactly the kind of job I have always wanted. We have about 2,000 kids in our programme
playing soccer in the slums of Kisumu and in the surrounding rural areas. Our office (coincidentally just 3 minutes walk from the
Kiwanis office) has 7 staff, a group of young, energetic men who are hard-working and professional, but love to joke around and
tease one another. It's the perfect workforce.
This week on Tuesday, I got to travel to Nairobi with two of our KYFA players, aged 11 and 17, to appear on a live, national,
morning talk show for half an hour just to talk about youth football. It was scary to be sitting in front of the lights and cameras -
and my voice did shake a little at first - but the interview went great. I received a lot of phone calls and text messages from
friends and family here who watched it. Seth was really proud that his wife was on national television. :)
Our little girl, Sophia, is growing up too fast. If we blink, we miss something. She is talking a lot now, for example:
"Daddy, stop it!"
"Almost ready!"
"Mommy, I want this one!"
"What are you doing?"
She even closes her eyes and tries to pray the way that Zawa and other kids at Kiwanis Junior Academy would pray before eating.
She does talk about her big sister Zawa a lot. Mostly, she likes to look at Zawa's photos (which are all over our apartment) and
point her out. She does not seem to be sad, which is a blessing. It helps that our upstairs neighbor's child is her absolute best
friend and plays with him everyday.
Let me briefly add that things with Kiwanis are going really well. Our club has new officials who are working hard to put more
structures in place. We will finish our KIF malaria and education project in April, hopefully to continue for a second round in June.
At the moment, we are just about to select our new scholarship recipients for 2011, and our also moving forward with Shana Pad
(reusable sanitary pad) production.
I also took on a volunteer position with Kiwanis International coordinating the African Kiwanis clubs. For the last three years,
there had been no one from KI assigned to monitor and assist African clubs, so this was a big need. I enjoy the communication
with clubs from countries such as Ghana, Nigeria, Senegal, etc. (Of course, for the club with Senegal, I have to draw upon some
pretty rusty high school French and an online translator. :)
Seth and I are doing well as a couple. Seth's 3 -year contract with USAID finished in September, so now he is waiting to start up
the new project this month. Since I started my job, I have seen Seth virtually "bloom" in the house, taking on the dishes, cooking,
sweeping, mopping, and most of the tasks I or my sister-in-law used to do. It's very unusual for a Kenyan husband to participate in
any of the household chores, but when things got to an impasse, Seth realized that he needed to step in and help out. It's a
wonderful feeling to know that we are sharing the responsibilities in the home.
Of course, we were not able to go home to the States this year for Christmas for many reasons, including the expense. I got to talk
to my parents and family member several times over the holidays, and was really blessed to receive in the mail a copy of a DVD
that my aunt Candy (and friend/graphic designer Ryan Goelzenleuchter) made about the history of my mother's side of the family. I
pretty much just cried through the whole thing, especially because the DVD included photos and descriptions of Zawa and Sophia
at the end - the only grandchildren. The DVD was a beautiful tribute to our whole family, and made me realize how much I miss
them. And how hard it must be for my parents to have their only daughter and her family so far away.
Well, I am writing this in the KYFA office on a Sunday, while some repairment are finishing up a job here. Time to get back home to
play with Sophia before she turns into a teenager!
I love you all and miss you. Blessings and greetings from Seth and everyone here,
Rachelle
It's so hard to believe that the year is 2011. I remember years ago when it seemed like the Millenium was so far away that by the
time it arrived, we would be flying cars like the Jetsons and establishing colonies on Mars. Well, there is still time. Let me now
think of 2030 as that great technological frontier, and wait to see if it lives up to my exaggerated imagination.
Kenya, like most of Africa, is divided by the older, slower, simpler world, and the high-speed, high-cost lifestyle flying by it. It's still
a very normal thing to find a brand-new, $50,000 Mercedes passing by two men pushing a wooden cart of supplies; a $200,000
house (and yes, these are U.S. dollar amounts) situated across the street from slums where the average tenant rents a 2-room
iron sheet house for $15 a month. Pretty soon, with Kisumu's new international airport, people will be able to fly to Egypt without
passing through Nairobi; yet, you still can't drive a mile in town without being jossled around by Kisumu's trademark potholes.
Many of the improvements going on in Kenya are exciting, high-tech, and "good for the economy"; but it seems as if life for
average Kenyans making $40 a month just gets harder and more expensive, while our Members of Parliament, making the
HIGHEST salaries in the world at about $15,000 a month, continue to vote for pay increases.
Okay, Rachelle, no more politics!!! I meant to write because it has been, regrettably and ashamedly, about 6 months since I last
sent a mass email. And there have been so many events, both personal and professional, that it it's impossible to continue
procrastinating this email.
First and foremost - and the hardest thing to write about - but one that I can't avoid...Zawa.
As some of you are aware through Facebook entries in October, Zawa's father, stepmother and grandparents finally made a
decision about giving her up for adoption. After getting the legal information during a meeting with a children's lawyer, the family
met on their own and discussed. And they refused, based on cultural grounds. The grandparents - the heads of Luo families -
insisted that Zawa must come back to her family. Adoption was not an option.
We were forced to return Zawa to her family in mid-December. While we were there, we had a meeting with the whole family to
hear from the grandparents why they were against adoption. Then we were able to respond. It seems that the grandparents were
totally against adoption when they were informed of how it cuts off their rights to the child, but when Seth and I explained that we
still intend to keep up the connection between Zawa and her relatives, they relaxed and finally left the decision up to the father.
We had previously agreed that Zawa would stay with the father and stepmother for some time so that the family could then decide
whether they were capable of taking care of her. There is a chance that the father may later return Zawa to us for adoption - given
her various health problems - but for now, the father has enrolled Zawa in school in the village.
We feel broken-hearted and are missing our little girl so much. Seth and I have called and asked to talk to Zawa several times, and
each time there was a reason why she could not talk. We are not sure if these are legitimate reasons, or if the family does not
want us to communicate with her. My worry is that Zawa will grow up thinking that we abandoned her or didn't want her. But one of
Zawa's traits is that she gets attached to people very fast. As long as she has food to eat and kids to play with, she tend to do well
in any situation. Luckily, she has quite a few biological siblings at home, two of whom she had already interacted with before this
time. Because we had prepared ourselves and Zawa for the shift to the father's home, she was not emotional when we left her
there, nor were we. We had talked about it in advance with Zawa, and told her, "Your real father" [and she does understand that
Seth is not her real father] "loves you so much that he wants to spend more time with you. We will get to see you again, but for
now you are going to your other home so you can spend time with your siblings Jill and Fred." Jill is about 9, Fred about 4.
I had already cried all my tears before we made the journey, and promised myself that I would not let them see me look weak, in
case the family ever thought of using it against us. But leaving her behind as we drove away was one of the hardest things I have
ever had to do. I would not wish it upon anyone.
If I had had to sit at home without anything to occupy my thoughts all this time, I would be an emotional wreck by now. No
question. But God has an interesting way to helping us to manage our pain in times like these. For me, he gave me a full-time job
and made me busier than I have been in probably 5 years.
So, in addition to coordinating the Kisumu Kiwanis activities, I started work in November as Manager of the Kisumu Youth
Football Association (KYFA). I wasn't sure early on if I really wanted to take the position that had been offered to me several times;
but now that I am in in, I feel like it is exactly the kind of job I have always wanted. We have about 2,000 kids in our programme
playing soccer in the slums of Kisumu and in the surrounding rural areas. Our office (coincidentally just 3 minutes walk from the
Kiwanis office) has 7 staff, a group of young, energetic men who are hard-working and professional, but love to joke around and
tease one another. It's the perfect workforce.
This week on Tuesday, I got to travel to Nairobi with two of our KYFA players, aged 11 and 17, to appear on a live, national,
morning talk show for half an hour just to talk about youth football. It was scary to be sitting in front of the lights and cameras -
and my voice did shake a little at first - but the interview went great. I received a lot of phone calls and text messages from
friends and family here who watched it. Seth was really proud that his wife was on national television. :)
Our little girl, Sophia, is growing up too fast. If we blink, we miss something. She is talking a lot now, for example:
"Daddy, stop it!"
"Almost ready!"
"Mommy, I want this one!"
"What are you doing?"
She even closes her eyes and tries to pray the way that Zawa and other kids at Kiwanis Junior Academy would pray before eating.
She does talk about her big sister Zawa a lot. Mostly, she likes to look at Zawa's photos (which are all over our apartment) and
point her out. She does not seem to be sad, which is a blessing. It helps that our upstairs neighbor's child is her absolute best
friend and plays with him everyday.
Let me briefly add that things with Kiwanis are going really well. Our club has new officials who are working hard to put more
structures in place. We will finish our KIF malaria and education project in April, hopefully to continue for a second round in June.
At the moment, we are just about to select our new scholarship recipients for 2011, and our also moving forward with Shana Pad
(reusable sanitary pad) production.
I also took on a volunteer position with Kiwanis International coordinating the African Kiwanis clubs. For the last three years,
there had been no one from KI assigned to monitor and assist African clubs, so this was a big need. I enjoy the communication
with clubs from countries such as Ghana, Nigeria, Senegal, etc. (Of course, for the club with Senegal, I have to draw upon some
pretty rusty high school French and an online translator. :)
Seth and I are doing well as a couple. Seth's 3 -year contract with USAID finished in September, so now he is waiting to start up
the new project this month. Since I started my job, I have seen Seth virtually "bloom" in the house, taking on the dishes, cooking,
sweeping, mopping, and most of the tasks I or my sister-in-law used to do. It's very unusual for a Kenyan husband to participate in
any of the household chores, but when things got to an impasse, Seth realized that he needed to step in and help out. It's a
wonderful feeling to know that we are sharing the responsibilities in the home.
Of course, we were not able to go home to the States this year for Christmas for many reasons, including the expense. I got to talk
to my parents and family member several times over the holidays, and was really blessed to receive in the mail a copy of a DVD
that my aunt Candy (and friend/graphic designer Ryan Goelzenleuchter) made about the history of my mother's side of the family. I
pretty much just cried through the whole thing, especially because the DVD included photos and descriptions of Zawa and Sophia
at the end - the only grandchildren. The DVD was a beautiful tribute to our whole family, and made me realize how much I miss
them. And how hard it must be for my parents to have their only daughter and her family so far away.
Well, I am writing this in the KYFA office on a Sunday, while some repairment are finishing up a job here. Time to get back home to
play with Sophia before she turns into a teenager!
I love you all and miss you. Blessings and greetings from Seth and everyone here,
Rachelle
| Zawa - Seth - Rachelle |
| Rachelle - Sophia |
| Rachelle - Seth |
| Zawa & Father |
| Sophia |
| Sophia |